Helen Naylor Interview
Updated: Jan 20
Narrative Interview
"If you leave, I will take Helen"
Helen was neglected by her mother who was supposed to be the closest person to her.
In adulthood, Helen Naylor wrote a book about her life and specifically about the abuse which she received from her mother. She mentions that she also wrote book so when her kids will grow up, they will be able to read it and to not make it a “vague story” for them.
Even though her book could still have some “vague” bits to it, tutor in a local library said to Helen that is still publishable.
Luckily for her, not only her story was publishable but also it made its way to being on TV. So, all the effort which was put in basically rewriting her life story was not in vain, even though at the start it was written just to document everything down.
Helen’s life was dramatically different to kids her age. Even though when Helen was 3 years of age, her mother helped her to write a book ‘Flower that couldn’t grow’, there are many other horrific things which her mum did to her which covers the help of writing a book.
The book ‘Flower that couldn't grow’, in fact did not have any biographical meaning behind it. Helen explained that this book literally was about flower which couldn’t grow without rain or sun. But she also mentions, that when she looks back at the title right now, “you can put all sorts of thing onto it”.
Helen’s mother also left behind a diary with page numbers that could’ve guided her into finding out things; as when Helen was growing up her mother did inform her about this diary. Helen shares that in her thoughts, her mother wanted her to read the diary, but the diary itself did not hide anything, instead it was just truthful to an extent and that she thinks that her mother really wanted Helen to read a diary.
Helen Naylor is significantly a different person compared to her mother
In the diary her mother was not sharing any feelings of hers. No love, no happiness, just clear review of her own life. Even when she got pregnant with Helen, it looked like pregnancy came out of nowhere as her mother never mentioned wanting nor planning kids in her diary. Helen said that her mother’s diary was “pure factual”. Helen shares that it could be months of her mother just writing down basic life things and then one day, she is talking about abusing and neglecting her kid with no emotional thought put into it.
Whereas Helen Naylor, grew up in a toxic home she never been to her kids like her mother was to her. Helen thinks that it's important to show love to her kids and let them know how needed they are. As she never felt any of these while growing up. Even little things like writing cards for their future birthdays while kids were still little, to just show them what they were doing at that time and to write down how much she loves them. Helen would keep these cards for 10 years and on their 11th birthday she would gift them these cards.
Helen Naylor is significantly a different person compared to her mother, as she cares about her children and even though when they are a teenager and don't really want to communicate to her, by gifting these cards which express love, she shows her kids how much she loves and grateful to have them. She also found peace in making cards, as she was giving what she never had.
However much, Helen’s farther did not really engage in growing her up, he still did neglect her, as he was complicit in her mother’s neglect and abuses. But her father was dominated by Helen's mum, so it is difficult as he couldn't just walk away but at the same time still decided to not change the way Helen’s mother acted with her and even do the same thing. Nevertheless, Helen suggests that he “could’ve been a victim in his own way”.
Helen’s Naylor father did in fact rely on her mum a lot, as he did not have any other family or friends. By that, we could suggest that this what made her mother feel like she has more power than him, as he also had not only physical but also mental health issues. So it was very difficult for him as well.
In her future writing career, Helen Naylor has a plan of writing a historical novel, if to be exact, a memoir of a woman in Middle Ages but gets interrupted by looking after her children. She hopes to continue writing it in some way and hopefully it will be published for public to read.
By the end, Helen Naylor is a very powerful female, as even though she went through all these traumatic experiences in her life, she never gave up and is an astounding woman.
Written by Daria Redchenko
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